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Silent Words

In the stillness of the early morning hours, the empty page stares at me. My pen is poised, ready to chart the course of the flight of my thoughts. The pristine whiteness of the page soothes my mind. Even before I have written anything, I am calm. With the process of writing I get in touch with that part of my soul which is nurtured by silence and blossoms with the light of attention.
I write about a beautiful bird observed, something that touched the heart, a book read, a movie seen, an exhibition visited, a memory recovered… The mere act of writing becomes cathartic
My pages accompany me up to the calm mountains and down to the solitude of the beaches. Like the rings in the trunk of a tree, these diaries have been a true witness to the unfolding of my life. Day by day they have helped me to uncover the truth about myself. By guiding me gently, they have shown me the road down which I should travel in order to be happy.
Reading about an entry made years earlier I shake my head in amazement, was I just longing for a corner in my home to paint and sketch in? I surveyed my studio today, after my home this is my favourite place in the world. My diary knew about my deepest desire much before I acknowledged it and by showing me the path regularly, it made sure that I didn’t steer away from it… what is it that’s said? When you truly desire something, all of eternity conspires to give it to you..
I think the catch lies in finding out what we ‘truly desire’!

So you think you are in control?

A popular show on radio requires the Radio Jockey to call up an unassuming person to chat about some simple issue. Slowly and determinedly the RJ escalates the conversation to a point where the person called comes down to angry swearing within seconds. This happens with unfailing regularity, much to the listener`s amusement.

The whole premise of this popular show is that the RJ will be able to say the exact things that will elicit a particular response from the person called. To think that we are like machines that react in certain predictable and reactive ways is quite unsettling.

While driving down a road, I was confronted by a motorcycle borne trio. The riders were in a jolly mood and were weaving their bike left and right at a very slow speed. They were making sure that I could not overtake them. Every time I used the horn they would raise their hands as if to provoke a rash reaction. Their complete lack of sensitivity and brashness got me livid with anger. I felt like a puppet, completely at the mercy of their outrageous and dominating behaviour.

“So you think you are in control?” I wanted to yell at them.

My mind calmly echoed the question back at me, “So you think you are in control?”

I wanted my answer to be a resounding, “Yes!”

Then something just fell in place… I saw myself at my destination a trifle later that expected but I would not be made to behave in a way that I did not want to.

I realised that while the right to fight back is ours, the way we do it should be ours too. It should not be dependent on another person`s manipulation of us. That would be giving too much power to someone else and too little to our own self….

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